One does not have to be religious to see the wisdom in these words. There is perhaps no skill in this world in shorter supply than listening. We are often so interested in conveying our opinion or experience that we become impaired as listeners. Someone else speaks, our mind goes elsewhere.
Yet developing an open and attentive mind is a critical step in becoming a great learner.
There are three main types – or modes – of listening: competitive, attentive and active.
Competitive listening happens when we are more interested in promoting our own point of view than in understanding or exploring someone else’s view. This is the mode used most commonly in debates, and generally works against understanding, and learning.
In attentive or passive listening we are genuinely interested in hearing and understanding the other person’s point of view. We are open. We assume that we have heard and understand correctly but remain passive and do not verify what we have heard. This mode generally works well when attending lectures or large teachings, and is effective in promoting understanding, and learning.
Active or reflective listening is the most effective mode for gaining clear understanding, and advancing one’s own learning. In active listening we are again genuinely interested in understanding what the other person is trying to convey, yet in this mode we are active in checking our understanding before we respond with our own new message. We restate or paraphrase our understanding of their message and reflect it back to the sender for verification. This verification or feedback process is what distinguishes active listening and makes it effective.
Like most skills this is one that you can develop and practice.
Next I’ll explore exercises will help develop your attentive or active listening skills.
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