Listening and learning (part two)

Over the past week I’ve been exploring what it takes to become a great learner. After experiencing the ups and downs of my own learning (or non-learning) experiences I’ve concluded that becoming a great learner involves becoming a great listener. 

Listening is a skill that you can develop, and practice. The following exercises will help develop the attentive or active listening skills I explored in the previous post. You can practice these exercises every day, whenever you are engaged in conversation: 

• Focus only on the speaker and what he or she is talking about rather than what you want to say next.  
• Try to maintain eye contact with the speaker at all times. This practice should keep you focused on what the other person has to say, and not so much on what is going on in your mind.  
• Do not interrupt. As simple as this may seem, it is very important that you abide this rule. Just this one thing, done right, represents a great exercise to improve your listening skills.  
• Ask questions at natural pause points throughout your conversations. If you ask questions, people will know that you are listening, you will prevent any possible misunderstandings and you will develop your listening skills.  
• When you do not have a question, acknowledge the other person verbally or non-verbally from time to time, to indicate that you are really listening.

Your listening can also be enhanced by developing awareness of the thoughts arising in your mind. As you notice doubts and obstacles arising, set them aside to make room for new learning. Do all that you can to adopt an open and attentive mind. Open yourself to possibilities, and loosen any preconceived ideas or structures. 

If doubts arise as you read or listen to teachings, ask yourself, can I put this idea into practice and see for myself if it works or doesn’t work? In other words, rather than letting my prejudices dictate my response to the material, I can adopt a scientist’s perspective and experiment with the idea.

To further assess our listening and learning skills we can examine how we receive teachings, whether they in a classroom or in written form. In Buddhist practice we try to abandon three faults in listening to teachings: 

1. The fault of being like a pot turned upside down: we are physically present but so profoundly distracted that no teaching can enter our mind;  
2. The fault of being like a bad smelling pot: we listen attentively but our motivation is wrong, for example we are gathering information to discredit the teacher;
3. The fault of being like a leaky pot: we listen attentively with good motivation but cannot retain what we hear or read.

There are two methods we can use to address the third fault of not remembering. The first is to attempt to recall the essential points of the teaching as soon as possible after the class or reading is finished. The second is to engage in conversation with class mates or study mates soon after a class or reading is done. 

Next I’ll explore another of the steps in becoming a great learner: seeking and relying on a guide, teacher, coach or mentor.

-David Luke, Senior Consultant at FocusFit (2007) Inc.

© 2011 D. G. Luke and FocusFit (2007) Inc.

Listening and learning (part one)

Lord, grant that I may seek to understand, than to be understood.[1]

One does not have to be religious to see the wisdom in these words. There is perhaps no skill in this world in shorter supply than listening. We are often so interested in conveying our opinion or experience that we become impaired as listeners. Someone else speaks, our mind goes elsewhere.

Yet developing an open and attentive mind is a critical step in becoming a great learner.

There are three main types – or modes – of listening: competitive, attentive and active.

Competitive listening happens when we are more interested in promoting our own point of view than in understanding or exploring someone else’s view. This is the mode used most commonly in debates, and generally works against understanding, and learning.

In attentive or passive listening we are genuinely interested in hearing and understanding the other person’s point of view. We are open. We assume that we have heard and understand correctly but remain passive and do not verify what we have heard. This mode generally works well when attending lectures or large teachings, and is effective in promoting understanding, and learning.

Active or reflective listening is the most effective mode for gaining clear understanding, and advancing one’s own learning. In active listening we are again genuinely interested in understanding what the other person is trying to convey, yet in this mode we are active in checking our understanding before we respond with our own new message. We restate or paraphrase our understanding of their message and reflect it back to the sender for verification. This verification or feedback process is what distinguishes active listening and makes it effective.

Like most skills this is one that you can develop and practice.

Next I’ll explore exercises will help develop your attentive or active listening skills.

[1] From the Prayer of St. Francis

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